I’ve heard it too many times to count.
“ Today isn’t going to be a good day” or “Today is off to a bad start.”
I would glance at the time and think to myself, “It’s still morning!”.
I didn’t always used to do this. I would be the first one to declare a bad day before lunch time, breakfast even. For the smallest of reasons too, maybe I couldn’t find my right shoe or I had to wait for someone to finish delivering their newborn mammoth before I could use the bathroom.
Either way, there were too many random factors that would contribute to my day going “bad” and not enough things that I actively did to make my day go well.
I sometimes struggle with the thought of putting my fingers to a keyboard and writing whats on my mind. Not only is a blank slate beautifully open and up for individual interpretation but slightly intimidating.
I am done worrying about not measuring up to some invisible standard. To not feeling like someones expert or genius. A good friend once said to me, “so what”.
I now create the standards. No more waiting till the right moment to conquer things in my life. Now is all all I have and can be certain of.
I have exactly 56 days until I graduate from university and to be quite honest I am just now getting excited about it. Last month I was not excited about celebrating my graduation nor was I planning to attend the ceremony. However, I have recently had an Aha moment. Yes! I spent these last 1.5 years questioning what it was I wanted to do with my life, and before that only having some vague idea. I was not necessarily lost career wise, but more so searching for that sign that just about everyone seemed to have gotten that made them sure of their future.
I recognized that not everything I have done has made me feel successful and that quite frankly that feeling of success is subjective. I could be the greatest painter and win awards for it but if I don’t love it, painting is nothing but a thing I do that people happen to like.
I have learned that everyone comes into the game differently. Everyone has their own agendas and own capabilities. I learned that there were somethings that could never be taught about the college experience. I learned from experience.
So, I will attend my graduation. Not for any other reason but because I know I gave it my all with what I had to give and I know that I am changed for the better. This ceremony will be a graduation of my mind, body and soul.
We all want to be liked dont we? By our peers, at work, during interviews, by complete strangers. Its natural. Fact is rejection is not fun. Social acceptance is valued pretty early on and it begins at childhood. This is why being picked last for a team in gym, or not being invited to a birthday party, or not getting accepted for a job stings just a little in the pit of your belly. I learned in my Social Psychology class that researchers have found that pain from being excluded or feeling left out is comparable to that of actual physical pain and can really impact psychological states, think bullied individuals who turn to suicide or school shooters. It has been said that the need to belong is fundamental.
However, I would like to open up a conversation about something slightly different. A topic that I feel many women can relate to.
As young girls many of us are told how to be. Proper, clean, domestic, nice, good, cute, pretty, seen and not heard. These are reinforced throughout our childhood and roll over into our adult lives. We become scared of speaking out, worried about how we are perceived by men. We dont want to come off as angry, bitter, bitchy, etc.. So we do not risk it. We stay in jobs and don’t ask for raises, or ignore when a man in a professional setting comments on our looks or body, and keep quiet when our space is invaded. All because we don’t want to create a scene. For most of her life a womans right to self expressesion has been stifled.
So we develop this Likability Complex as I like to call it (unless the name is already taken). We want to please everyone. We want to be liked because if we are liked then we have been good and if we are good we are liked.
I, like many of you have struggled with weight loss. It’s hard work to get it off but even harder to keep it off. I have discovered somethings that really have helped me get over this fat loss hurdle that I would like to share. So this will be sort of like a series.
You are waiting.
Waiting for the winter, for the summer, waiting till your birthday or a vacation, waiting for someone you know to get married, waiting for class reunions, New Years, Mondays, after the holidays, waiting for your refund check, waiting till you can’t fit any of your pants, waiting for someone to say something, waiting for your friends or family to do it etcetera etcetera.
To see how long you can deny the “my pants aren’t fitting”problem. We all know long term weight loss doesn’t happen fast, yet people wait and then run to buy the “get slim quick pills” that never seem to get old or work. Worse-yet they start to starve themselves and all this other self hate nonsense (fact is we need to eat to live people).
We wait and get upset when someone comments on our weight, meanwhile we know the pounds have been pilling up. We have just been trying to hide it from ourselves by acting like it doesn’t exist. Well guess what? That one you cant hide from, you carry with you everywhere you go.
Really, there is no reason to wait to lose weight!
You can start now.
Yeah like right now, just do 30 jumping jacks cause you can.
We want to start big.
For some of us the concept of eating right and exercising is brand new, while others may have come across this bridge before. Either way, I have found that a lot of people who try to lose weight (including myself) set large unrealistic goals/plans. For instance, Continue reading
The Greek legend of Achilles is one I learned in high school. As the story goes, this hero was dipped head first while being held by the ankle in the River Styx by his mother Thetis at birth. The purpose was to make him immortal, however the ankle his mother held remained untouched by the water and therefore was vulnerable to harm. Ultimately, it was an arrow to this mortal ankle that lead to the demise of Achilles.
To this day “Achilles Heel” is used as a metaphor for vulnerability. Ultimately as I see it mortality was his weakness. As mortal human beings we all come with weaknesses.